Even ChatGPT Knows What’s Wrong with ITSM!

I asked ChatGPT: “Write 1000 words in a humorous way, in the style of Paul Wilkinson, explaining why organizations continually (20 years in a row) fail with the five key areas as described in ‘The Shiny New Thing that Really Helps’ and how this relates to the ABC of ICT.” This article shares ChatGPT’s response.

ChatGPT’s answer was:

Certainly! Here’s a humorous take on why organizations consistently fail in the five key areas as described in “The Shiny New Thing that Really Helps,” with a nod to Paul Wilkinson’s style and how it relates to the ABC of ICT (Attitude, Behavior, and Culture).

Note – if you see any errors, we haven’t edited any of ChatGPT’s response.

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The Shiny New Thing That Really Helps: A 20-Year Odyssey of Failure

Prologue: The Groundhog Day of IT

If you’ve worked in IT for more than a week, you’ve probably noticed that it’s a lot like the movie Groundhog Day. You wake up, attend the same meetings, and hear the same buzzwords, only to realize that despite all the “innovative” changes, nothing ever really changes. Organizations have been failing at the same five key areas for 20 years straight, which makes you wonder if they have some kind of masochistic fondness for failure. So, what are these areas and why do organizations keep bungling them?

1. Communication
2. Processes
3. Tools
4. People
5. Governance

1. Communication: The Tower of Babble

Organizations love to talk about the importance of communication. They’ll host workshops, hire consultants, and even buy the latest communication tools, hoping to solve all their problems with a shiny new gadget. Unfortunately, the actual practice of communication often resembles a game of broken telephone.

Why do they fail?

• Email Overload: Everyone gets CC’d on everything, resulting in an inbox so cluttered that it’s easier to find Waldo than the actual important message.
• Meetings Mania: Companies love meetings. They’ll have a meeting to discuss the meeting where they’ll plan the next meeting. In the end, you’ve spent an entire day talking about talking without actually saying anything useful.
• Buzzword Bingo: Communication often devolves into a contest of who can use the most jargon. “Let’s circle back on the synergy of our agile pivot while leveraging core competencies.” Translation: No one has any idea what’s going on.

ABC of ICT Connection: The Attitude towards communication is often one of avoidance or superficial engagement. Behaviorally, people might nod and agree in meetings but never follow through. Culturally, there is a fear of transparency and honest feedback, so real issues remain unspoken.

Note – if you see any errors, we haven’t edited any of ChatGPT’s response.

2. Processes: The Rube Goldberg Machine of IT

Processes are meant to streamline operations and ensure consistency. However, in many organizations, processes are so convoluted that they make a Rube Goldberg machine look like a model of efficiency. Each new process is layered on top of the old one, creating a labyrinthine structure that only a minotaur could navigate.

Why do they fail?

• Over-Engineering: Processes are often designed by people who have never actually used them. This results in steps that are redundant, contradictory, or outright nonsensical.
• Resistance to Change: The old process might be broken, but it’s our broken process. Attempts to introduce new methods are met with the kind of resistance usually reserved for invading armies.
• Process for Process’ Sake: There’s a belief that having more processes is inherently better. “We don’t need to fix the broken process; we need another process to manage the process of fixing the process!”

ABC of ICT Connection: Attitudinally, there’s a lack of ownership. Behaviorally, employees might follow processes to the letter, even when they know it’s inefficient, because “that’s how it’s always been done.” Culturally, there is a reverence for bureaucracy and a reluctance to simplify.

Note – if you see any errors, we haven’t edited any of ChatGPT’s response.

3. Tools: The Swiss Army Knife of Pointlessness

Tools are supposed to make our lives easier. Yet, somehow, organizations manage to turn every tool into a burden. The latest tool is always “the one” that will solve all problems, right up until the next one comes along.

Why do they fail?

• Shiny Object Syndrome: The newest tool is always the best tool. Never mind that the old tool worked just fine. There’s a relentless pursuit of novelty over functionality.
• Poor Integration: Each new tool is like a guest at a party who refuses to mingle. It doesn’t play well with others, leading to siloed information and fragmented workflows.
• Training? What Training?: Organizations assume that simply having the tool is enough. They forget that people need to be trained to use it effectively. Consequently, tools are either underutilized or misused.

ABC of ICT Connection: The Attitude is one of overconfidence in technology as a silver bullet. Behaviorally, employees might misuse tools or revert to old methods out of frustration. Culturally, there’s a belief that technology can solve all problems, ignoring the human element.

Note – if you see any errors, we haven’t edited any of ChatGPT’s response.

4. People: The Heart of the Dysfunction

People are the most important asset, or so they say. Yet, organizations often treat them like replaceable cogs in a machine. The result is disengagement, high turnover, and a general sense of malaise.

Why do they fail?

• Micromanagement: Trust is in short supply. Managers micromanage, stifling creativity and initiative. Employees become demoralized and disengaged.
• Lack of Development: Training budgets are the first to be cut, leaving employees with outdated skills and no clear path for growth.
• Recognition Vacuum: Achievements are taken for granted, and feedback is rare. People need to feel valued, but many organizations fail to provide even basic acknowledgment of their efforts.

ABC of ICT Connection: Attitudinally, there’s a lack of trust and respect. Behaviorally, employees might do the bare minimum because they don’t feel invested. Culturally, there’s a disconnect between leadership and staff, with a focus on short-term gains over long-term development.

Note – if you see any errors, we haven’t edited any of ChatGPT’s response.

5. Governance: The Kafkaesque Nightmare

Governance is supposed to provide oversight and direction. However, it often manifests as an impenetrable bureaucracy that hinders rather than helps. Decisions are delayed by committees, and red tape wraps around every initiative like a straitjacket.

Why do they fail?

• Bureaucratic Bloat: Layers of approval processes mean that by the time a decision is made, it’s already obsolete.
• Fear of Accountability: Governance is seen as a way to avoid blame rather than ensure success. This leads to risk-averse behavior and stagnation.
• Inconsistent Enforcement: Rules are applied arbitrarily. What’s enforced one day is ignored the next, leading to confusion and cynicism.

ABC of ICT Connection: Attitudinally, there’s an aversion to accountability. Behaviorally, people might game the system to avoid repercussions. Culturally, there’s a focus on maintaining the status quo rather than fostering innovation and improvement.

Note – if you see any errors, we haven’t edited any of ChatGPT’s response.

Conclusion: The Never-Ending Cycle

So, why do organizations keep failing in these areas year after year? It all comes back to the ABC of ICT: Attitude, Behavior, and Culture. Without addressing these fundamental elements, no amount of new processes, tools, or governance structures will make a difference. Organizations need to change the way they think (attitude), act (behavior), and what they value (culture).

Until then, we’ll continue waking up to the same old problems, with the same old solutions, wondering why nothing ever seems to change. After all, if insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, then organizational IT strategy is its master class.

So, here’s to the next 20 years of failing with IT service management (ITSM) in new and innovative ways! Cheers!

Note – if you see any errors, we haven’t edited any of ChatGPT’s response.

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It looks like this retired grumpy old moaner in IT has been replaced by a grumpy AI engine called ChatGPT 🙂